Funerals are rough. I had originally left my home to get back to Los Angeles due to covid deaths, and one heart attack. The goal was to grieve. I ended up realizing life is too short. Unraveling myself for my family to see a very unhappy woman.
After seeing my family. It was a rough wake up call. I missed them so much. After my uncle Robert died in Catalina island. Something inside me woke up. Life seemed like it was worth living. Made me confront myself with some serious questions while in mourning. Are you happy? I broke down in tears. The answer was no. Truth started coming out of me why I wasn’t happy. It’s time for a new path.
I made the leap. It was worth it. I saved myself and my son. The decision wasn’t New Hampshire politics. It was much more personal. It was my marriage. That’s all I’ll say about that out of respect to the other party.
What I’m trying to say is this. Never, ever let go of yourself to appease someone else. That was my first mistake. If your soul is broken and find yourself in tears most days. That’s no way to live or love yourself. Stay true to you. That’s what I did.
Late night ramblings of a restless mind. I lost a family member a week during that week. we had numerous deaths. It was heartbreaking but put things in perspective. COVID-19 and illness. I then decided to make some very fast changes in my life . I left New Hampshire. Started a new life back home. I needed my family. I was isolated without them. Felt very alone. Sad. It wasn’t me anymore. I needed to feed my soul so badly. I decided to stay. This wasn’t a premeditated trip back home. This was a huge wake up call. I got the message and I ran with it.
Anyone who is reading this who feels as if their life has stopped. Remember who you are. Build yourself up. If I can do it, you can do it too. Not saying it’s easy. Divorce is such a bitch! Especially when there is a little one involved. Once the tears dry up, and the head clears. It’s not that bad of a price to pay. Beats the alternative. Losing yourself completely.